Who would have thought that arguing with your teen was a good idea?

As emotionally exhausting as it can be it is also the training ground of real life.

Yo don’t want your kid to be a push over and learning to communicate and negotiate effectively are valuable skills in all aspects of life.

Allen says almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it’s the quality of the arguments that makes all the difference.

“We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground,” he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners, friends and colleagues on the job.

Teens should be rewarded when arguing calmly and persuasively and not when they indulge in yelling, whining, threats or insults, he says.